Summer, Boxes, and Style

i don't care much for summer.

i'm going back between doing my chores and typing this.

my computer keeps making a clicking noise.

my cat wants me to play with her.

i'm bored.

i hate chores...

but i need to go take care of the dishes...

*sigh*

well, life sucks, pretty much...

i have decided i'm not going to try to fit myself into a box. especially with sexual orientation. i think that it's just too...restricting. i'm not gay, bi, or straight, i'm Brianna Lynne, who is just trying to figure out who she is, and doesn't need a box to define that, whatever it is.

how can i decide if i do or don't like boys if i've never kissed one, never held hands with one, never even had a real boyfriend. i've had girlfriends, but they never kissed me, and how can i decide i do or don't like girls if i've never done anything with them, either. i guess that i do think girls are hot, but still...i'm not going to be forced to decide.

the book 'What Happened to Lani Garver' helped me make that decision. Lani doesn't put himself in ANY box. a conversation he has with someone (i don't have the book right here, but this is pretty close):

"do you like boys?"

"i love boys."

"do you like girls?"

"i love girls."

"are you bi?"

"that's a pretty sizeable box..."

the words "that's a pretty sizeable box" have stuck in my head ever since i read that book. it makes sense...why should i try to fit into a box? let the people trying to place me get confused all they want. they don't need to understand me or put me in their restricting categories.


another thing...

you know how people always are either trying to go against the grain, claiming they don't care about society's rules? well, if they don't care about society's rules, why do they work so hard to go against them? if they didn't care, then it wouldn't matter to them if something was or wasn't in style. obviously, since they pay enough attention to have everything they do be fashionably out of style, they do care. i've decided i'm simply going to dress and act like i want, whether it's in or out of style. for clothes, if it looks good, that's all that matter, not whether it's in or out or fashionably out. which makes no sense anyways. the whole thing of in and out and fashionably out just makes no sense to begin with.

*sigh*

Quote of the Day

“The worst crime is faking it.”
~Kurt Cobain

xoxo, peace,

Brii333