Summer, Boxes, and Style

i don't care much for summer.

i'm going back between doing my chores and typing this.

my computer keeps making a clicking noise.

my cat wants me to play with her.

i'm bored.

i hate chores...

but i need to go take care of the dishes...

*sigh*

well, life sucks, pretty much...

i have decided i'm not going to try to fit myself into a box. especially with sexual orientation. i think that it's just too...restricting. i'm not gay, bi, or straight, i'm Brianna Lynne, who is just trying to figure out who she is, and doesn't need a box to define that, whatever it is.

how can i decide if i do or don't like boys if i've never kissed one, never held hands with one, never even had a real boyfriend. i've had girlfriends, but they never kissed me, and how can i decide i do or don't like girls if i've never done anything with them, either. i guess that i do think girls are hot, but still...i'm not going to be forced to decide.

the book 'What Happened to Lani Garver' helped me make that decision. Lani doesn't put himself in ANY box. a conversation he has with someone (i don't have the book right here, but this is pretty close):

"do you like boys?"

"i love boys."

"do you like girls?"

"i love girls."

"are you bi?"

"that's a pretty sizeable box..."

the words "that's a pretty sizeable box" have stuck in my head ever since i read that book. it makes sense...why should i try to fit into a box? let the people trying to place me get confused all they want. they don't need to understand me or put me in their restricting categories.


another thing...

you know how people always are either trying to go against the grain, claiming they don't care about society's rules? well, if they don't care about society's rules, why do they work so hard to go against them? if they didn't care, then it wouldn't matter to them if something was or wasn't in style. obviously, since they pay enough attention to have everything they do be fashionably out of style, they do care. i've decided i'm simply going to dress and act like i want, whether it's in or out of style. for clothes, if it looks good, that's all that matter, not whether it's in or out or fashionably out. which makes no sense anyways. the whole thing of in and out and fashionably out just makes no sense to begin with.

*sigh*

Quote of the Day

“The worst crime is faking it.”
~Kurt Cobain

xoxo, peace,

Brii333

No Buisiness like Show Buisiness...

omygodomygodomygod!!!!!!!!! for school, we had a music trip to NYC, which was amazing enough, but we got to go see Wicked at the Gershwin Theater...i don't think i've ever seen anything so amazing, and i'm positive i'll never feel that thrill at any place but the theater. i wanted to be up there so bad, i could've died.

so, my new goal is to make it to Broadway. i'm going to work harder then anyone's ever worked before, and i'm going to make it. i've always loved theater, but i never thought it would be so amazing, so beautiful...i want to be a part of something that astonishingly beautiful...

and the play touched me. i felt like i could relate to Elphaba...sure, i don't have green skin, and i'm not a witch, but...i've been pushed around and made fun of my whole life, like that. and the song 'Defying Gravity' totally just...it was amazing. i was speechless. that song made me realize that, damnit, i can do whatever i want in life, even if someone else says i'm not good enough. i can make myself good enough. i can do it, and goddamnit, i will. i'll push myself beyond what i've ever been pushed before, and i will make it happen.

quote of the day

Elphaba: it's time to try defying gravity, i think i'll try defying gravity, and you can't pull me down...

Glinda: Can't i make you understand, you're having delusions of granduer...?

Elphaba: i'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so. some things i cannot change,but 'till i try, i'll never know. too long i've been afraid of loosing love, i guess i've lost. well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost...

i'd sooner buy defying gravity, kiss me goodbye, i'm defying gravity, and you can't pull me down...

unlimited, together we're unlimited. together, we'll be the greatest team there's ever been, Glinda--dreams the way we planned 'em...

Glinda: ...if we work in tandem...

Both: there's no fight we cannot win, just you and i--defying gravity. with you and i,defying gravity...

Elphaba: they'll never bring us down...

so if you care to find me, look to the western sky, assomeone told me lately, "everyone deserves the chance to fly." and if i'm flying solo, at least i'm flying free. to those who'd ground me, take a message back from me: tell them how i'm, defying gravity. i'm flying high, defying gravity, and soon i'll match them in renown. and nobody, in all of oz, no wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring me down!



Peace,

Brii333