--Just as I start to drift off, I’m jolted back by a creak, so soft.
--As I cling to the blankets, I feel something creeps
--Across the floor, and through the room, invisible in the dripping gloom.
--Trembling, I can only assume that the Sandman’s come, with nightmares to seep
--into my mind. They drip from his fingers, eager to leak
--Through my skull—they’ve havoc to wreak.
--He’ll plant in me thoughts of blood and gore, thoughts that I should
--Be forgetting, and sending to hell with my tears.
--In fetal position, I shake and I plead, beg him to choose someone other then me.
--I don’t want to again dream that dream, one he keeps feeding my fears.
--My courage gathers, sit up, turn on a light, then wait for my vision to clear.
--When it does, I wish I’d left the light off--Shut my eyes, and cover my ears.
--But still, I can see, I can hear…the thing on the floor, which shrieks and cowers in fear.
--Who would’ve thought that the poor soul’s single dread was that which makes all that’s good grow?
--Cracking open my eyelids, I let go of my ears, and feel pity for the childlike creature,
--The sandy skin of his back starts to smolder, the things red-rimmed eyes glow in hateful anger.
--The Sandman, he is being charred by the light, and I feel that I’d rather
--Dream again then hear the pitied, poor wraith writhe in the light’s cruel, bright torture.
--And so, reaching up, I turn off the light, brace myself for another nightmare-filled night.
--But then, I feel nothing, and I open my eyes just in time to see Sandman tip-toe out, undisguised.
--Turning back at the very last moment, I see that his glowing red eyes looking directly at me
--He gives me a trembling, hunch-back bow, and I see, just barely, the look in his eyes…
--He’ll be back, every night, without fail, for to drive me mad, lead to my demise…
--And next time, there’ll be no compromise.
okay, yeah, it sucks. i got that. for Lit, we had to write a poem in the style of Edgar Allen Poe's "The Raven." (i love that poem.) but anywayz, just thought i'd post it here for the sake of posting it and whatevz.
TOODLEZ!!!!!
Brii333
Friday, October 31, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Brad Will
so yeah, we're doing this thing for Day of the Dead in spanish class, and i'm doing my alter guy on Brad Will. he's one of my main heroes. why? well, even if you don't want to know (in which case, leave) i'm going to tell you anyway.
Brad will is one of my main heroes because, number one, he dressed up as a sunflower and sat in a tree to protest the destruction of gardens in NYC, sat naked in a tree to protest cutting it down, and played the groom in a fake marriage to his gay friend IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, and many, many more dangerous front-line type things. i mean, he SAT IN A TREE NAKED!!!!!!!! how could you NOT admire him for that. honestly!
also, he died the death that i want to die, the death that happens for someone else, or for a cause you deeply believe in. a Martyr's death.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Another martyr in a dirty war, another bullet cracks the night.
~Bradley Will
toodles!!!
Brii333
Brad will is one of my main heroes because, number one, he dressed up as a sunflower and sat in a tree to protest the destruction of gardens in NYC, sat naked in a tree to protest cutting it down, and played the groom in a fake marriage to his gay friend IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET, and many, many more dangerous front-line type things. i mean, he SAT IN A TREE NAKED!!!!!!!! how could you NOT admire him for that. honestly!
also, he died the death that i want to die, the death that happens for someone else, or for a cause you deeply believe in. a Martyr's death.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Another martyr in a dirty war, another bullet cracks the night.
~Bradley Will
toodles!!!
Brii333
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
complaining
i am really getting fucking sick of everything always being my fault. i've been in a foul mood since yesterday and i have been trying really hard not to be an asshole but apparently trying NOT to be an asshole is making me into more of an asshole and i really want to just crawl into a hole and die and i have no time to explain will make things clearer for whoever has to be reading this later.
LIFE SUCKS.
LIFE SUCKS.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Untitled VII
--There's a peice of me that no one sees
--That's kept deep down inside of me.
--The part that cries alone at night,
--and watches everything in life.
--The part that cries in dark despair
--When others are hurt, filled with disrepair.
--It's the reason i wear black,
--proudly display all that i lack,
--Stand up for those who've been put down,
--Dive in to save those who've been drown.
--I don't need to show you, or explain,
--the reason that i hide this pain.
--So don't you ask, or even care
--About the soul i CAN'T repair.
--Be kind to others, hide your heart
--From one who WILL tear it apart.
yes, i wrote that. just finished it, as a matter of fact... the ones that are all-caps are supposed to be italisized, but it won't do that on here. or at least, I can't get it to...
--That's kept deep down inside of me.
--The part that cries alone at night,
--and watches everything in life.
--The part that cries in dark despair
--When others are hurt, filled with disrepair.
--It's the reason i wear black,
--proudly display all that i lack,
--Stand up for those who've been put down,
--Dive in to save those who've been drown.
--I don't need to show you, or explain,
--the reason that i hide this pain.
--So don't you ask, or even care
--About the soul i CAN'T repair.
--Be kind to others, hide your heart
--From one who WILL tear it apart.
yes, i wrote that. just finished it, as a matter of fact... the ones that are all-caps are supposed to be italisized, but it won't do that on here. or at least, I can't get it to...
Johnny Cash
okay, the song "Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails. i liked it, kind of, but then i heard the Johnny Cash version... if NIN did it well, Johnny Cash did it excellently. well, "excellent" is an understatement. the words, i always understood what they said, but the way he sings it speaks to me, deep in my soul. it's hard to explain, or maybe i just don't want to explain. one of those things that i will not say, because it would be like baring a peice of my soul to say it aloud. anywayz, here's the lyrics...
HURT
--i hurt myself today,
--to see if i'd still feel.
--i focus on the pain,
--the only thing that's real.
--the needle tears a hole,
--the all-farmiliar sting.
--try to kill it all away,
--but i remember everything.
--what have i become?
--my sweetest friend.
--everyone i know
--goes away,
--in the end...
--and you could have it all,
-my empire of dirt,
--i will let you down,
--i will make you hurt.
--i wear this crown of thorns,
--upon my liars chair,
--full of broken thoughts
--i cannot repair.
--beneath the stains of time,
--the feelings disappear.
--you are someone else,
--i am still right here.
--what have i become?
--my sweetest friend.
--everyone i know
--goes away,
--in the end.
--and you could have it all.
--my empire of dirt,
--i will let you down,
--i will make you hurt.
--if i could start again,
--a million miles away,
--i would keep myself,
--i would find a way...
another real good song by J.Cash is "Man in Black" listen close to the words, sometime. when i paid more attention to them, i was like..."kay, you'll be wearing black for a loooong time, then... well, i'll put them in here, so you will get it, because (scuze me if you are indignant about my lack of faith in people) you probably won't listen to it.
--Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
--Why you never see bright colors on my back,
--And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
--Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
--I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
--Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
--I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
--But is there because he's a victim of the times.
--I wear the black for those who never read,
--Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
--About the road to happiness through love and charity,
--Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.
--Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
--In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
--But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
--Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
--I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
--For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
--I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
--Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.
--And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
--Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
--I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
--Believen' that we all were on their side.
--Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
--And things need changin' everywhere you go,
--But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
--You'll never see me wear a suit of white.
--Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
--And tell the world that everything's OK,
--But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
--'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.
i get what he's talking about here, too.
HURT
--i hurt myself today,
--to see if i'd still feel.
--i focus on the pain,
--the only thing that's real.
--the needle tears a hole,
--the all-farmiliar sting.
--try to kill it all away,
--but i remember everything.
--what have i become?
--my sweetest friend.
--everyone i know
--goes away,
--in the end...
--and you could have it all,
-my empire of dirt,
--i will let you down,
--i will make you hurt.
--i wear this crown of thorns,
--upon my liars chair,
--full of broken thoughts
--i cannot repair.
--beneath the stains of time,
--the feelings disappear.
--you are someone else,
--i am still right here.
--what have i become?
--my sweetest friend.
--everyone i know
--goes away,
--in the end.
--and you could have it all.
--my empire of dirt,
--i will let you down,
--i will make you hurt.
--if i could start again,
--a million miles away,
--i would keep myself,
--i would find a way...
another real good song by J.Cash is "Man in Black" listen close to the words, sometime. when i paid more attention to them, i was like..."kay, you'll be wearing black for a loooong time, then... well, i'll put them in here, so you will get it, because (scuze me if you are indignant about my lack of faith in people) you probably won't listen to it.
--Well, you wonder why I always dress in black,
--Why you never see bright colors on my back,
--And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone.
--Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on.
--I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down,
--Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town,
--I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime,
--But is there because he's a victim of the times.
--I wear the black for those who never read,
--Or listened to the words that Jesus said,
--About the road to happiness through love and charity,
--Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me.
--Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose,
--In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes,
--But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back,
--Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black.
--I wear it for the sick and lonely old,
--For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold,
--I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been,
--Each week we lose a hundred fine young men.
--And, I wear it for the thousands who have died,
--Believen' that the Lord was on their side,
--I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died,
--Believen' that we all were on their side.
--Well, there's things that never will be right I know,
--And things need changin' everywhere you go,
--But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
--You'll never see me wear a suit of white.
--Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day,
--And tell the world that everything's OK,
--But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back,
--'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.
i get what he's talking about here, too.
Random Thoughts...
you know how there are somethings that you love with all your heart, but you are so afraid to share them?
my poetry is like that. i'm afraid to share my poetry with most people...why? well, i've been thinking...
maybe the reason i don't want to share it is because, if i do, i'll be sharing my soul, a little peice of me that no one sees. the peice of me that i keep shoved down deep, deep inside of me. the part that cries alone at night, and pays attention to everything in life. the part that gasps with dark despair when others are hurt, or full of disrepair.
jesus, that almost sounds like a poem right there. (giggles)
sometimes, it all just comes out, when i least expect it to. but then when i really need words to come out, they don't.
i believe i have a verse in a poem somewhere about that...
--creativity's that river, flowing where it will,
--it seems that when i need them most, the words will never spill.
--for now, they come from out my pen, from this mind they flow,
--like flowers, reaching for the sun, so that my song may grow.
~Scattered (a mild case of ADD), 3-29-08
i wrote that before i even knew i had ADD. basically, it's called that because all four verses are about something completely different.
well, tata for now...
oh oh oh wait a minute!!!!!!! i just remembered...
CONNETICUT NOW IS THE THIRD STATE IN THE U.S TO OK SAME-SEX MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!!!!! **holds up invisible celebration-champagne glass** cheers! TO VICTORY!!! :)
we will get this. we've worked too hard to have all go to waste.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Stand up for what you believe is right, even if you are standing alone.
~icon (unknown)
xoxo
Brii333
my poetry is like that. i'm afraid to share my poetry with most people...why? well, i've been thinking...
maybe the reason i don't want to share it is because, if i do, i'll be sharing my soul, a little peice of me that no one sees. the peice of me that i keep shoved down deep, deep inside of me. the part that cries alone at night, and pays attention to everything in life. the part that gasps with dark despair when others are hurt, or full of disrepair.
jesus, that almost sounds like a poem right there. (giggles)
sometimes, it all just comes out, when i least expect it to. but then when i really need words to come out, they don't.
i believe i have a verse in a poem somewhere about that...
--creativity's that river, flowing where it will,
--it seems that when i need them most, the words will never spill.
--for now, they come from out my pen, from this mind they flow,
--like flowers, reaching for the sun, so that my song may grow.
~Scattered (a mild case of ADD), 3-29-08
i wrote that before i even knew i had ADD. basically, it's called that because all four verses are about something completely different.
well, tata for now...
oh oh oh wait a minute!!!!!!! i just remembered...
CONNETICUT NOW IS THE THIRD STATE IN THE U.S TO OK SAME-SEX MARRIAGE!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!!!!!!!! **holds up invisible celebration-champagne glass** cheers! TO VICTORY!!! :)
we will get this. we've worked too hard to have all go to waste.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Stand up for what you believe is right, even if you are standing alone.
~icon (unknown)
xoxo
Brii333
Friday, October 10, 2008
Pirates and Poetry
--The King and his men
--stole the Queen from her bed,
--and bound her in her bones...
--the seas be ours, and by the powers,
--where we well will roam...
--yo, ho,
--all hands, hoist the colors high.
--heave, ho,
--theives and beggars, never shall we die...
that's a good song. very pretty, very...i don't know. i just like it. i'd like to get the piano music for it, i could make it sound really good with some practice...
Claude does not like me. [ yes, i am going to complain like a little girl right now. ] he likes Barb, a blonde, small, pretty girl. i told him i liked him. and now, i think he's taunting me. **cringe** i don't think he's dating her...i mean, if he is, okay then, he's not taunting me.
i don't know. the whole thing where i told him went kind of like this:
C: so i think Barb wants to date me.
B: huh.
C: do you think i should?
B: no.
C: why not?
B: just...no.
C: why?
Teacher: okay, i'm starting the movie, be quite! (or something like that...)
B (writing a note): you shouldn't because i like you and i would be jealous. but please don't let that ruin our friendship cuz i know you don't like me that way. (or some such thing)
and he still treats me the same, but it's even worse because he knows i like him and he...argh! i sound all spoiled, like he should not like other girls and show it because i like him. that's not it at all. i've taken to turning away when him and her are all over eachother, because it hurts. christ! since when does liking someone hurt? my chest gets all tight when i see...that. them, all over eachother, flirting outrageously. jesus.
i know he doesn't like me. that's fine. i can handle it. it's not like i haven't dealt with things that hurt just as much.
oh and speaking of things that hurt...
dad missed my IEP meeting. sonofabitch, he says he had the date wrong. i love my daddy to death, but i am sick of standing up for him! it's like he can't take responsibility for having a goddamn kid. i know it would've been better for him if i weren't here, but i am here, and it hurts. it hurts when my own father doesn't care enough to make sure he's there at things like that. goddamnit, what happens in IEP could effect the rest of my life, my possible careers, everything! he could at leaste try to be a parent enough to go to these things.
i absolutely love that he's not all adult-like, most of the time. but sometimes, being an adult is what needs to be done, as much as both the adult and the kid dislike it. and i'm sick of my father not being honest with me, not paying hardly any attention to me (that sounds bratty...)...honestly, he thinks that he can just...buy it all off!!! by getting me my lap top, my thumb drive, my mp3 player...honestly, i would just as soon have none of that and have him care about me. i know i wouldn't feel that way if it were that way, but it's not, so all i want is to be cared about by my father. by ANYONE, really, but my father especially. because i don't know what that's like.
i suppose it could be worse. i could have Billie's biological father, or he could beat me or he could still be drinking, or be like Tricia's dad. hell. i don't know. maybe i am selfish. actually, i know i am. but i'm working on it. i hate that i have to keep changing things about myself, but unless i do, no one will ever like me or care about me. and i want to be cared about. speaking of, i got some new poetry.
A WISHING STAR
--twinkle, twinkle, little star,
--how so very bright you are!
--i wish i may, i wish i might
--have you grant just one wish tonight.
--my wish is for the loving care
--of one who forever and always is there
--to wish me sweet dreams, and kiss me goodnight,
--and love me 'till all else is far from our sight.
--man or woman, black or white,
--large or small, they're all just right.
--someone i can't live without,
--who loves me back, without a doubt.
--twinkle, twinkle, little stars,
--oh! how lovely they all are.
--stars so brilliant, stars so bright,
--please grant my one wish tonight?
MIRROR, MIRROR
--looking in the glass,
--i wish i couldn't see
--the monster that lies hidden there,
--staring back at me.
--dodging glances in the halls
--is not a problem here--
--invisible girl doesn't need to hide
--in order to disappear.
--this mask i wear is good enough
--to keep the demon tame,
--although she cries to be let out,
--although my thoughts she maims.
--mirror, mirror, can't you show
--something that isn't mine?
--the world will see a beautiful face
--while i stay left behind.
okay, the next one, i showed it to my English teacher, and she wants to submit it for...i don't remember what. it mighta been Teen Ink, or something like that.
SESTINA FOR ONE BELOVED
--fight for my Beloved,
--who's life i hold most deeply.
--who would've thought that, when alone,
--this child seems to break my bones?
--fling at me more wods of hate
--that rob me of my breath.
--it robs me of my breath,
--Beloved,
--to care for you so deeply.
--i hate to see you be alone,
--even as you shatter my bones
--with your hammer of hate.
--i wish that i could hate,
--so i could catch my breath.
--why do i care so much, Beloved?
--why do i care so deeply?
--why do have to be alone,
--where silence echoes in my bones?
--i feel an aching in my bones,
--it's edged with fear of hate.
--i wish that i could catch my breath
--to tell you just how much, Beloved,
--i love you, just how deeply.
--i wish i couldn't leave you alone.
--fighting with myself, alone,
--the need to push back in my bones.
--i can't stand how much you can hate
--how i can still have breath.
--and you, Beloved,
--you cut me deeply.
--fighting with one i love deeply,
--feeling so alone.
--my cries are onlyh in my bones.
--to scream aloud, i hate
--to, so i hold back my breath,
--'till i have nothing left, Beloved.
--you are so deeply in your hate,
--it cuts out bones and breath.
--how is it to be alone, Beloved?
SICK
--sick,
--sick,
--sick,
--rolling
--in my
--core,
--making
--me feel
--as if
--the gurgling,
--clawing,
--churning
--is adding
--to the
--problem
--so i
--run,
--run,
--run,
--as it
--comes up
--and out,
--shooting
--like a
--bullet
--from
--a gun.
--sick,
--sick,
--sick.
SCAPEGOAT
--i do as they say,
--feeling sick and alone
--as i giggle and laugh at their jokes.
--i simmer inside,
--and i'm strained, like an ox,
--dreaming, but chained to his yoke.
--i know it's not meant,
--but, unknown, in my hole,
--i think back, then cry as i choke.
--i know it's for fun,
--that it's not 'sposed to hurt,
--but it fuels the resentment inside.
--"no need for affront,"
--i think, and can't shake
--that the comments are all justified.
--"how are you?" they asked
--as i walked in the door...
--and then, as i smiled--i lied.
ya, the picture this time IS me, because I wrote the poems, so therefore, i go on the page. self-centered? probably. do i care? no. okay, ya, maybe a little. i'm kinda self concious about that. but i count the poems as my QUOTE OF THE DAY, so i have to put my own picture there.
xoxo,
Bri333
--stole the Queen from her bed,
--and bound her in her bones...
--the seas be ours, and by the powers,
--where we well will roam...
--yo, ho,
--all hands, hoist the colors high.
--heave, ho,
--theives and beggars, never shall we die...
that's a good song. very pretty, very...i don't know. i just like it. i'd like to get the piano music for it, i could make it sound really good with some practice...
Claude does not like me. [ yes, i am going to complain like a little girl right now. ] he likes Barb, a blonde, small, pretty girl. i told him i liked him. and now, i think he's taunting me. **cringe** i don't think he's dating her...i mean, if he is, okay then, he's not taunting me.
i don't know. the whole thing where i told him went kind of like this:
C: so i think Barb wants to date me.
B: huh.
C: do you think i should?
B: no.
C: why not?
B: just...no.
C: why?
Teacher: okay, i'm starting the movie, be quite! (or something like that...)
B (writing a note): you shouldn't because i like you and i would be jealous. but please don't let that ruin our friendship cuz i know you don't like me that way. (or some such thing)
and he still treats me the same, but it's even worse because he knows i like him and he...argh! i sound all spoiled, like he should not like other girls and show it because i like him. that's not it at all. i've taken to turning away when him and her are all over eachother, because it hurts. christ! since when does liking someone hurt? my chest gets all tight when i see...that. them, all over eachother, flirting outrageously. jesus.
i know he doesn't like me. that's fine. i can handle it. it's not like i haven't dealt with things that hurt just as much.
oh and speaking of things that hurt...
dad missed my IEP meeting. sonofabitch, he says he had the date wrong. i love my daddy to death, but i am sick of standing up for him! it's like he can't take responsibility for having a goddamn kid. i know it would've been better for him if i weren't here, but i am here, and it hurts. it hurts when my own father doesn't care enough to make sure he's there at things like that. goddamnit, what happens in IEP could effect the rest of my life, my possible careers, everything! he could at leaste try to be a parent enough to go to these things.
i absolutely love that he's not all adult-like, most of the time. but sometimes, being an adult is what needs to be done, as much as both the adult and the kid dislike it. and i'm sick of my father not being honest with me, not paying hardly any attention to me (that sounds bratty...)...honestly, he thinks that he can just...buy it all off!!! by getting me my lap top, my thumb drive, my mp3 player...honestly, i would just as soon have none of that and have him care about me. i know i wouldn't feel that way if it were that way, but it's not, so all i want is to be cared about by my father. by ANYONE, really, but my father especially. because i don't know what that's like.
i suppose it could be worse. i could have Billie's biological father, or he could beat me or he could still be drinking, or be like Tricia's dad. hell. i don't know. maybe i am selfish. actually, i know i am. but i'm working on it. i hate that i have to keep changing things about myself, but unless i do, no one will ever like me or care about me. and i want to be cared about. speaking of, i got some new poetry.
A WISHING STAR
--twinkle, twinkle, little star,
--how so very bright you are!
--i wish i may, i wish i might
--have you grant just one wish tonight.
--my wish is for the loving care
--of one who forever and always is there
--to wish me sweet dreams, and kiss me goodnight,
--and love me 'till all else is far from our sight.
--man or woman, black or white,
--large or small, they're all just right.
--someone i can't live without,
--who loves me back, without a doubt.
--twinkle, twinkle, little stars,
--oh! how lovely they all are.
--stars so brilliant, stars so bright,
--please grant my one wish tonight?
MIRROR, MIRROR
--looking in the glass,
--i wish i couldn't see
--the monster that lies hidden there,
--staring back at me.
--dodging glances in the halls
--is not a problem here--
--invisible girl doesn't need to hide
--in order to disappear.
--this mask i wear is good enough
--to keep the demon tame,
--although she cries to be let out,
--although my thoughts she maims.
--mirror, mirror, can't you show
--something that isn't mine?
--the world will see a beautiful face
--while i stay left behind.
okay, the next one, i showed it to my English teacher, and she wants to submit it for...i don't remember what. it mighta been Teen Ink, or something like that.
SESTINA FOR ONE BELOVED
--fight for my Beloved,
--who's life i hold most deeply.
--who would've thought that, when alone,
--this child seems to break my bones?
--fling at me more wods of hate
--that rob me of my breath.
--it robs me of my breath,
--Beloved,
--to care for you so deeply.
--i hate to see you be alone,
--even as you shatter my bones
--with your hammer of hate.
--i wish that i could hate,
--so i could catch my breath.
--why do i care so much, Beloved?
--why do i care so deeply?
--why do have to be alone,
--where silence echoes in my bones?
--i feel an aching in my bones,
--it's edged with fear of hate.
--i wish that i could catch my breath
--to tell you just how much, Beloved,
--i love you, just how deeply.
--i wish i couldn't leave you alone.
--fighting with myself, alone,
--the need to push back in my bones.
--i can't stand how much you can hate
--how i can still have breath.
--and you, Beloved,
--you cut me deeply.
--fighting with one i love deeply,
--feeling so alone.
--my cries are onlyh in my bones.
--to scream aloud, i hate
--to, so i hold back my breath,
--'till i have nothing left, Beloved.
--you are so deeply in your hate,
--it cuts out bones and breath.
--how is it to be alone, Beloved?
SICK
--sick,
--sick,
--sick,
--rolling
--in my
--core,
--making
--me feel
--as if
--the gurgling,
--clawing,
--churning
--is adding
--to the
--problem
--so i
--run,
--run,
--run,
--as it
--comes up
--and out,
--shooting
--like a
--bullet
--from
--a gun.
--sick,
--sick,
--sick.
SCAPEGOAT
--i do as they say,
--feeling sick and alone
--as i giggle and laugh at their jokes.
--i simmer inside,
--and i'm strained, like an ox,
--dreaming, but chained to his yoke.
--i know it's not meant,
--but, unknown, in my hole,
--i think back, then cry as i choke.
--i know it's for fun,
--that it's not 'sposed to hurt,
--but it fuels the resentment inside.
--"no need for affront,"
--i think, and can't shake
--that the comments are all justified.
--"how are you?" they asked
--as i walked in the door...
--and then, as i smiled--i lied.
ya, the picture this time IS me, because I wrote the poems, so therefore, i go on the page. self-centered? probably. do i care? no. okay, ya, maybe a little. i'm kinda self concious about that. but i count the poems as my QUOTE OF THE DAY, so i have to put my own picture there.
xoxo,
Bri333
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Sandman and Compatibility Charts
Sandman--faerie-tale character who sprinkled magic sand over the eyes of sleeping children to bring good sleep and dreams.
where did this come from?
i don't know, but the song "Enter Sandman" made me think about that.
--Say your prayers little one
--Dont forget, my son
--To include everyone
--Tuck you in, warm within
--keep you free from sin
--till the sandman he comes
--sleep with one eye open
--gripping your pillow tight
--CHORUS
--Exit, light
--Enter, Night
--Take my hand
--we're off to never-never land
--Somethings wrong, shut the light
--heavy thoughts tonight
--And they aren't of snow white
--dreams of war, dreams of liars
--dreams of dragon's fire
--and of things that will bite
--sleep with one eye open
--gripping your pillow tight
--CHORUS
--SOLO
--Now I lay me down to sleep (x2)
--I pray the lord my soul to keep (x2)
--If i die before i wake (x2)
--I pray the lord my soul to take (x2)
--hush little baby, don't say a word
--never mind that noise you heard
--it's just the beasts under your bed
--in your closet, in your head
--CHORUS (replacing 'take....land with 'grain of sand)
--CHORUS (done the normal way)
It's interesting how Metallica took the good-natured Sandman character and turned him into a nightmare...the one who brings bad dreams to children, instead of sleep and good dreams.
it's a song for the insomniac. maybe that's why i like it so much.
anyways, i was looking at my love compatibility chart--prospects for me look bleak. i mean, all it told me was that i'd never have anything with an Aquarius and the only thing i'd ever have with Gemini is adventure. basically, it looked like this:
these are all the different things that are possible--fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, spontaneity, and attentiveness.
Aries-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, attentiveness
another Taurus-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Gemini-- adventure
Cancer-- fun, romance, loyalty, passion, chilling out, spontaneity, attentiveness
Leo-- romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, spontaneity, attentiveness
Virgo-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Libra-- fun, romance, adventure, chilling out
Scorpio-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Sagittarius-- fun, adventure, chilling out
Capricorn-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Aquarius-- 0
Pisces-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
so, bascally, i get along well with almost every single other sign, but i'll never get any spontaneity from anyone--mainly because Taurus's kind of don't like that much at all.
other stuff it says about me--
i'm loyal aand love security. i have a big heart and will defend any of those i love with my very life. relationships and family are hugely important to me, and my favorite pastime might be a massive dinner party for those i love with lots of indulgent food and drink. i can be a little controlling of those i care for and try to live their life for them, assuming that i know best. i find it difficult to let go of the past, and once i love someone they will always remain in my heart.
i'm funny and warm and will never let down someone i care about. if a friend is in trouble, i am there n a flash to pck up the pieces and cook a comforting meal to cheer them up. i have a nurturing spirit, and although i can be demanding and difficult, i tend to receive back the degree of love that i give. i am as solid as a rock, and that is a rare commodity.
stubborn, sulky, and downright belligerent when i want to be, i never give in and find it hard to apologize. i can be jealous and possessive and need constant reassurance from people; i don't ask for it in an obvious way but i soon let people know if i am not getting my fair share of pampering. i can be lazy and expect others to wait on me hand and foot. (here Brii inserts "damnit. i've been working on it!!!!")
i am totally dependable but fantasize about a life away from all the security that i've creaed. i may long for a romantic fling with no strings attatched, and to explore my freedom. i have a vivid imagination and often daydream about ex-lovers, and i'm a great one for the phrase "what if?" these secret cravings can hold me back, but i'm not supposed to feel guilty, because everyone has a secret side.
so yeah, okay, i can see that. i try real hard not to be too expectant though!!! i try to do my side of things, always, really i do!
other random stuff for my specific birthday--
May 14
Color--Blue
Stone--rutilated quartz
Flora--Peace Lily
Animal--Monkey (???)
Occupation--Taxi Driver, Publisher, Historian
Key Features--studious, articulate, inventive
Naturally good at--all aspects of studying
Love--you tend to get into relationships that begin as friendships. you find yourself easing into this, as you are a little lazy in this area. have a uhmmm..woah. okay, it didn't say that but i'd rather not go into that.
Best Present--wok, foot spa. (lol)
whaaatever. i don't even know why i like this stuff. i just do. :/ i can't help it.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
True, I talk of dreams,
Which are the children of an idle brain,
Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,
Which is as thin of substance as the air
And more inconstant than the wind, who wooes
Even now the frozen bosom of the north,
And, being anger'd, puffs away from thence,
Turning his face to the dew-dropping south.
~Shakespear, "Romeo and Juliet," Act 1, Scene IV, Mercutio
Love to All,
Brii333
where did this come from?
i don't know, but the song "Enter Sandman" made me think about that.
--Say your prayers little one
--Dont forget, my son
--To include everyone
--Tuck you in, warm within
--keep you free from sin
--till the sandman he comes
--sleep with one eye open
--gripping your pillow tight
--CHORUS
--Exit, light
--Enter, Night
--Take my hand
--we're off to never-never land
--Somethings wrong, shut the light
--heavy thoughts tonight
--And they aren't of snow white
--dreams of war, dreams of liars
--dreams of dragon's fire
--and of things that will bite
--sleep with one eye open
--gripping your pillow tight
--CHORUS
--SOLO
--Now I lay me down to sleep (x2)
--I pray the lord my soul to keep (x2)
--If i die before i wake (x2)
--I pray the lord my soul to take (x2)
--hush little baby, don't say a word
--never mind that noise you heard
--it's just the beasts under your bed
--in your closet, in your head
--CHORUS (replacing 'take....land with 'grain of sand)
--CHORUS (done the normal way)
It's interesting how Metallica took the good-natured Sandman character and turned him into a nightmare...the one who brings bad dreams to children, instead of sleep and good dreams.
it's a song for the insomniac. maybe that's why i like it so much.
anyways, i was looking at my love compatibility chart--prospects for me look bleak. i mean, all it told me was that i'd never have anything with an Aquarius and the only thing i'd ever have with Gemini is adventure. basically, it looked like this:
these are all the different things that are possible--fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, spontaneity, and attentiveness.
Aries-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, attentiveness
another Taurus-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Gemini-- adventure
Cancer-- fun, romance, loyalty, passion, chilling out, spontaneity, attentiveness
Leo-- romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, spontaneity, attentiveness
Virgo-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Libra-- fun, romance, adventure, chilling out
Scorpio-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Sagittarius-- fun, adventure, chilling out
Capricorn-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
Aquarius-- 0
Pisces-- fun, romance, loyalty, adventure, passion, chilling out, attentiveness
so, bascally, i get along well with almost every single other sign, but i'll never get any spontaneity from anyone--mainly because Taurus's kind of don't like that much at all.
other stuff it says about me--
i'm loyal aand love security. i have a big heart and will defend any of those i love with my very life. relationships and family are hugely important to me, and my favorite pastime might be a massive dinner party for those i love with lots of indulgent food and drink. i can be a little controlling of those i care for and try to live their life for them, assuming that i know best. i find it difficult to let go of the past, and once i love someone they will always remain in my heart.
i'm funny and warm and will never let down someone i care about. if a friend is in trouble, i am there n a flash to pck up the pieces and cook a comforting meal to cheer them up. i have a nurturing spirit, and although i can be demanding and difficult, i tend to receive back the degree of love that i give. i am as solid as a rock, and that is a rare commodity.
stubborn, sulky, and downright belligerent when i want to be, i never give in and find it hard to apologize. i can be jealous and possessive and need constant reassurance from people; i don't ask for it in an obvious way but i soon let people know if i am not getting my fair share of pampering. i can be lazy and expect others to wait on me hand and foot. (here Brii inserts "damnit. i've been working on it!!!!")
i am totally dependable but fantasize about a life away from all the security that i've creaed. i may long for a romantic fling with no strings attatched, and to explore my freedom. i have a vivid imagination and often daydream about ex-lovers, and i'm a great one for the phrase "what if?" these secret cravings can hold me back, but i'm not supposed to feel guilty, because everyone has a secret side.
so yeah, okay, i can see that. i try real hard not to be too expectant though!!! i try to do my side of things, always, really i do!
other random stuff for my specific birthday--
May 14
Color--Blue
Stone--rutilated quartz
Flora--Peace Lily
Animal--Monkey (???)
Occupation--Taxi Driver, Publisher, Historian
Key Features--studious, articulate, inventive
Naturally good at--all aspects of studying
Love--you tend to get into relationships that begin as friendships. you find yourself easing into this, as you are a little lazy in this area. have a uhmmm..woah. okay, it didn't say that but i'd rather not go into that.
Best Present--wok, foot spa. (lol)
whaaatever. i don't even know why i like this stuff. i just do. :/ i can't help it.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
True, I talk of dreams,
Which are the children of an idle brain,
Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,
Which is as thin of substance as the air
And more inconstant than the wind, who wooes
Even now the frozen bosom of the north,
And, being anger'd, puffs away from thence,
Turning his face to the dew-dropping south.
~Shakespear, "Romeo and Juliet," Act 1, Scene IV, Mercutio
Love to All,
Brii333
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
In The Library With Tricia and Rachel
okay, minus Rachel. she just left.
We just went around trying to give a ham samich (minus the bread) to people but for some odd reason, no one wanted it!!! why?????? the poor ham samich must be feeling very left out. and depressed. damn. poor thing...either that or it's very happy it won't be being eaten.
lalalalalala!!!!!
i see...an elephant, and a dinasaur, and a mouse reading a book and a beehive and...books. hmm. imagine that. books in a library!!! who would've thought... (jk...)
Tricia says that my friend Tricia is the bestest person in the whooooole entire world!!! yay!!! hehehehehe...
i learned a new phrase today.
light in the loafer.
apparently, that means that your GAY!!! i am...six eights light in the loafer.
hmmm...this song is kind of pretty. "Everything's Magic" by Angels and Airwaves. Michael just came over and since i hadn't heard it he told me to listen to it, so that's what i'm doing.
i'm really bored and i really don't have much to write about except Tricia's trying to guess what i'm saying and it's kind of odd because my thoughts kind of move waaaay too fast for anyone to guess what they are. :/ at least not as i'm thinking them. i've had people try to do that. it doesn't work. well, i guess Tricia's managed it a couple of times.
uuuugh.. there's this kid sitting at the end of the row of computers i'm at and i REALLY don't like him. for some odd reason Alisha
ha ha tricia is taking over. lalalalala
[brianna regains control over the keyboard] anyways...for some odd reason Alisha thinks he's great, and i have absolutely no clue as to WHYYY!!! he's a jackass. and he has absolutely no consideration for anyone else, that i can see. but seeing as i'm talking shit about him, i can't really say much. **bites lip** i wish this thing had smilies, like on gmail, because then i could convey what i'm really thinking a bit more.
i need to remember this website, okay? remind me.
http://www.quotemountain.com/quotes/funny_quotes/
now, DON'T FORGET to remind me about that. ;)
gotta go!!! tanoodles!!!!
Brii333
We just went around trying to give a ham samich (minus the bread) to people but for some odd reason, no one wanted it!!! why?????? the poor ham samich must be feeling very left out. and depressed. damn. poor thing...either that or it's very happy it won't be being eaten.
lalalalalala!!!!!
i see...an elephant, and a dinasaur, and a mouse reading a book and a beehive and...books. hmm. imagine that. books in a library!!! who would've thought... (jk...)
Tricia says that my friend Tricia is the bestest person in the whooooole entire world!!! yay!!! hehehehehe...
i learned a new phrase today.
light in the loafer.
apparently, that means that your GAY!!! i am...six eights light in the loafer.
hmmm...this song is kind of pretty. "Everything's Magic" by Angels and Airwaves. Michael just came over and since i hadn't heard it he told me to listen to it, so that's what i'm doing.
i'm really bored and i really don't have much to write about except Tricia's trying to guess what i'm saying and it's kind of odd because my thoughts kind of move waaaay too fast for anyone to guess what they are. :/ at least not as i'm thinking them. i've had people try to do that. it doesn't work. well, i guess Tricia's managed it a couple of times.
uuuugh.. there's this kid sitting at the end of the row of computers i'm at and i REALLY don't like him. for some odd reason Alisha
ha ha tricia is taking over. lalalalala
[brianna regains control over the keyboard] anyways...for some odd reason Alisha thinks he's great, and i have absolutely no clue as to WHYYY!!! he's a jackass. and he has absolutely no consideration for anyone else, that i can see. but seeing as i'm talking shit about him, i can't really say much. **bites lip** i wish this thing had smilies, like on gmail, because then i could convey what i'm really thinking a bit more.
i need to remember this website, okay? remind me.
http://www.quotemountain.com/quotes/funny_quotes/
now, DON'T FORGET to remind me about that. ;)
gotta go!!! tanoodles!!!!
Brii333
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