i'm typing this in first period, right next to these two really really smart eighth graders--the straight A type smart. (i mean, i'm smart too, but i'm not straight A smart. i'm what you would call...street smart [?].) this keyboard sucks (i think it's got an aweful lot of dust in it...it's ancient) because it prevents me from typing as well as i can. it's dumb and i kind of want it to die. grr. but wait...then i wouldn't have a keyboard to type with. so nevermind.
anyway...LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yay!!! i'm so happy i don't have to deal with these idiots for an ENTIRE SUMMER!!! of course, i have to deal with the idiots at home a lot more, so maybe dealing with the idiots at school is worth it.
yesterday, i got home from Dad's house, and nobody was there. not a single person. so i just kind of sat around, wondering when everybody was going to get home. i watched Flight of the Conchords for a while...then i worked on my story for a while...then, at about eleven thirty, i locked the door and went to bed. about five minutes later, mom started banging on the door. so i went and i opened it. i didn't realize i had locked the deadbolt (out osf habit). the only thing she said to me all night was "don't lock the fucking deadbolt if we're not home!" and then she ignored me. no 'hello Brianna, how was your weekend?' no 'hey, nice to see you after you weren't home for three days...' and then she has the nerve to wonder why i never want to be at home.
i got eight more comic books. :) i got the rest of the Umbrella Acadamy series and then i got two other random ones: Civil War Chronicals #10 and a random one with the Fantastic Four, Spider Man, and Venom. (Venom kicks ass.)
this girl next to me is doing a slider puzzle and i think she's doing a farely horrible job of it. but then, i'm not doing it so i guess i should just not say anything. so i won't.
i'm hungry. i'm kind of on a diet...trying to loose ten pounds by the end of the month...which means no breakfast, hardly any lunch, small supper. less food. i am SO hungry, i think i could pass out, but i have to work on my self control. i'll survive.
it's cold...it froze last night. it sucked.
what am i going to do for the last fifteen minutes of class? i'm bored. hmmmmm... i'm wondering... what would it be like to go bungie jumping? that would be KICK ASS!!!
a list of all the extreme sports i'd like to try:
~bungie jumping
~cliff diving
~parachuting
~.....
thats it.
there's this girl in this class. i'll just call her... J. she's very shy and quiet...maybe i'll ask her for her email adress. i could get her to talk...maybe. i could try. she seems like a nice person, but...you know when people just don't talk. my best friend Rachel is like that. she's a nice person, deep down, but she just doesn't like people. and she's mean when she's trying to impress N. (this guy that has a HUGE crush on her and her him...i'm just calling him N.) she can be extremely MEAN. she's so mean when she does that...but i know she really doesn't mean it.
well, i've got to go...i wasted a bunch of time in there talking to another nerdy girl in here that likes murder shows.
Quote of the Day
"it tastes like somebody stole my wallet. you know?"
~Gerard Way
Peace and Love,
Brii333
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
Confusion, Fear, and Coffee
i'm so confused...
most of the time, i think i'm a lesbian.
then there are a few times when i think i'm bi.
then there are times when i decide that it doesn't matter what i am, or who i love. (which i love no one anymore. not that way.) i'm so mixed up about it...i want to kiss girls, i LOVE girls...cuz... lets just say i see a guy...and he's cute, i'm attracted to him...and then...i see the girl he's with... and she is much, much more attractive to me. does that make me mostly lesbian?
why do i even need a label anyway?
i'm afraid.
i'm afraid of when Daddy finds out. i'm afraid that i'm going to loose close friends because they'll think i'm hitting on them. which i've NEVER done, but i almost lost a friend because she thought i was hitting on her, although that was a while ago. but what if it happens? again? and what if this time, i actually do loose someone i care about? i'm afraid to totally be myself. i can't even be myself when i'm around my therepist. there are so many things E. (which is what i'll call her) doesn't know about me, that she probably should know...like the time that i had twenty-some painkillers down and then i swallowed nail polish remover and then puked. (don't do that. nail polish remover makes it feel like something in your stomach is trying to claw their way out of your stomach with rusty nails. not that i know what that feels like, i'm just guessing.) and how, on easter, i put twenty-seven (yeah, i counted) cuts in my upper left arm and they went so deep, they're still a bright pinkish-reddish-purpley color. i'm afraid that i'm not living up to my expectations everybody else has for me. what if Mom and Dad's idea that they have for me doesn't work out? Dad has it in his head i'm going to be a major musician, which would be wonderful, and Mom has it in her head that i'm going to have a ton of money. but i don't want a ton of money. i don't want to end up signed to some major record label. i just want to make a difference in the world and do what fate has planned for me, whether that's a journalist, a musician, a prostitute or a fucking weatherman (well...weatherwoman). but what if my family decides they don't care about me anymore because i don't end up how they pictured i should?
i want coffee.
i haven't had a decent cup of coffee in over a week. everything i've drank has tasted like shitinacup.
Quote of the Day
“Sometimes…
“You can cry until there is nothing left in you.
“You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures.
“You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen.
“And, still, it makes no difference.
“It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you.
“And you know that if it did relent…
“It would not be because it cared.”
~Jhonen Vasquez
~JTHM
Peace,
Brii333
most of the time, i think i'm a lesbian.
then there are a few times when i think i'm bi.
then there are times when i decide that it doesn't matter what i am, or who i love. (which i love no one anymore. not that way.) i'm so mixed up about it...i want to kiss girls, i LOVE girls...cuz... lets just say i see a guy...and he's cute, i'm attracted to him...and then...i see the girl he's with... and she is much, much more attractive to me. does that make me mostly lesbian?
why do i even need a label anyway?
i'm afraid.
i'm afraid of when Daddy finds out. i'm afraid that i'm going to loose close friends because they'll think i'm hitting on them. which i've NEVER done, but i almost lost a friend because she thought i was hitting on her, although that was a while ago. but what if it happens? again? and what if this time, i actually do loose someone i care about? i'm afraid to totally be myself. i can't even be myself when i'm around my therepist. there are so many things E. (which is what i'll call her) doesn't know about me, that she probably should know...like the time that i had twenty-some painkillers down and then i swallowed nail polish remover and then puked. (don't do that. nail polish remover makes it feel like something in your stomach is trying to claw their way out of your stomach with rusty nails. not that i know what that feels like, i'm just guessing.) and how, on easter, i put twenty-seven (yeah, i counted) cuts in my upper left arm and they went so deep, they're still a bright pinkish-reddish-purpley color. i'm afraid that i'm not living up to my expectations everybody else has for me. what if Mom and Dad's idea that they have for me doesn't work out? Dad has it in his head i'm going to be a major musician, which would be wonderful, and Mom has it in her head that i'm going to have a ton of money. but i don't want a ton of money. i don't want to end up signed to some major record label. i just want to make a difference in the world and do what fate has planned for me, whether that's a journalist, a musician, a prostitute or a fucking weatherman (well...weatherwoman). but what if my family decides they don't care about me anymore because i don't end up how they pictured i should?
i want coffee.
i haven't had a decent cup of coffee in over a week. everything i've drank has tasted like shitinacup.
Quote of the Day
“Sometimes…
“You can cry until there is nothing left in you.
“You can scream and curse to where your throat rebels and ruptures.
“You can pray, all you want, to whatever god you think will listen.
“And, still, it makes no difference.
“It goes on, with no sign as to when it might release you.
“And you know that if it did relent…
“It would not be because it cared.”
~Jhonen Vasquez
~JTHM
Peace,
Brii333
Saturday, May 17, 2008
I...Am...Iron Man...
da da da da da daa daa dee daa... well, i just went and watched the movie Iron Man. it was pretty good, despite the fact that he is the only superhero EVER in the history of Marvel Comics / the movie industry...EVER... to have less common sense then a ROCK. you don't TELL people that you're a superhero!!! NO!!! not only does that attract a ton of attention from the press and you never EVER get ANY privacy, it tells all of your enemies EXACTLY where to find you! bad Iron Man... (flicks on nose) *sigh*
what else...umm...none of my new fish have died yet!!!! i started out with one fish... a blue and red beta named Sharkbait. then i got this one weird puffy fishy thingy that died within two days, named Squishy. then i got three black tetras called The Freds and a japanese algae eater named Crappy. then a few months later, Sharkbait died, and a few months after that (two weeks ago) i got six more fish!!! four glow tetras, named One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, and Blue Fish, then a neon yellow fishy named Len and a neon pink fishy named Cartney. if you can't guess who they're named after, you're dumb.
uhmmmm... oh oh oh! me and my dad have started a little music group, just the two of us, called Wire and Wood. we just recorded our first song on his computer--our own guitar-vocal version of "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy. i'd like to do "Desert Song" by My Chemical Romance, but dad doesn't know that song very well, and so we're probably not going to do that for a while yet. our next project, instead is going to be "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. then next weekend we're going to do "Mother" by Pink Floyd. (dad really likes them, can you tell?) i'd also like to do some Evanescence. that would be kickass.
i just want to follow my dreams, i want to DO something with my life. and this is my start..music. i love music, i've always wanted to be a musician. i'd like to become a novelist someday...but music is so my love... i just don't know if i'm good enough. i'd like to be.
well...
ta ta for now...
xoxo
Brii
quote of the day:
"if for one minute you think you're better then a 16 year old girl in a Green Day tee shirt, you are sorely mistaken. remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. you wore their t-shirt, and sang every word. you didn't care about scene politics, or what was cool. all you knew was that this music made you feel different then anyone you shared a locker with. someone finally understood you. this is what music is about.
~Gerard Way
what else...umm...none of my new fish have died yet!!!! i started out with one fish... a blue and red beta named Sharkbait. then i got this one weird puffy fishy thingy that died within two days, named Squishy. then i got three black tetras called The Freds and a japanese algae eater named Crappy. then a few months later, Sharkbait died, and a few months after that (two weeks ago) i got six more fish!!! four glow tetras, named One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, and Blue Fish, then a neon yellow fishy named Len and a neon pink fishy named Cartney. if you can't guess who they're named after, you're dumb.
uhmmmm... oh oh oh! me and my dad have started a little music group, just the two of us, called Wire and Wood. we just recorded our first song on his computer--our own guitar-vocal version of "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy. i'd like to do "Desert Song" by My Chemical Romance, but dad doesn't know that song very well, and so we're probably not going to do that for a while yet. our next project, instead is going to be "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd. then next weekend we're going to do "Mother" by Pink Floyd. (dad really likes them, can you tell?) i'd also like to do some Evanescence. that would be kickass.
i just want to follow my dreams, i want to DO something with my life. and this is my start..music. i love music, i've always wanted to be a musician. i'd like to become a novelist someday...but music is so my love... i just don't know if i'm good enough. i'd like to be.
well...
ta ta for now...
xoxo
Brii
quote of the day:
"if for one minute you think you're better then a 16 year old girl in a Green Day tee shirt, you are sorely mistaken. remember the first time you went to a show and saw your favorite band. you wore their t-shirt, and sang every word. you didn't care about scene politics, or what was cool. all you knew was that this music made you feel different then anyone you shared a locker with. someone finally understood you. this is what music is about.
~Gerard Way
Friday, May 16, 2008
Finally!
Finally, a blog I can have where none of my friends will be able to find and read it, where I can put everything and not be worried about having my thoughts found out. Not that I don't still need to be careful, I do...but i can put almost whatever I want in here. :) Yay!
Well... a little bit about myself: My name is Brii, or Brianna, or Shitzon (a nickname given to me by my friends). Whichever you prefer, I guess. Some of my hobbies are painting, writing, playing piano/guitar/bass, singing, and bitching about political figures-everyone from the president to the pope. (Today I happen to be especially angry with the pope.) I have a few friends that I care an aweful lot about, whom i will refer to in this blog as B.J, Kat, Abisha, Tricia, Claudric, and whatever i come up with for whatever friends i happen to be discussing at the time. I live in northern Minnesota, U.S. with my Mom, and I visit my Dad on weekends. I am a "full blown dyke," as some people in my school refer to me as. I love most types of music, but there are some types of music i hate with a passion. These are rap, eighties pop (Madonna, etc.). Some music that i don't care for but don't exactly hate with a passion are country, hip-hop, and pop (Brittany Spears, Jordan Sparks, Paris Hilton, American Idol, etc.). Okay, i lied, i hate pop with a passion.
Today, since i am in the mood to bitch about something, i'm going to bitch about the pope. that sonofabitch is a whore...i kind of wish he would just randomly have a heart attack. unfortunately, i can't just make that happen. i'm not that smart. i may be smart, but not that smart. 'why would she want to do that?' is a question you may be asking yourself. well, here's a hint- gay marriage. that stupid motherfucking sonofawhore totally rained on my parade about California taking the ban off of gay marriage... i was so happy about the huge step for our country, until i read that stupid artical... here it is (please excuse all typos, i'm typing it while looking at a printed thingy):
Pope Restates Gay Marriage Ban After California Vote
Fri May 16, 2008, 5:51 pm BST
by Phillip Pullella
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict, speaking a day after California court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, firmly restated on Friday the Roman Catholic Church's position that only unions between a man and a woman are moral.
Benedict made no mention of the California decision in his speech to family groups from throughout Europe, but stressed the Church's position several times.
"The union of love, based on matrimony between a man and a woman, which makes up the family, represents a good for all society that can not be substituted by, confused with, or compared to other types of unions." he said.
The pope also spoke of the inalienable rights of the traditional family, "founded on matrimony between a man and a woman, to be the natural cradel of human life."
On Thursday, the California Supreme Court overturned a ban on same-sex marriage in a major victory for gay rights advocates that will allow homosexual couples to marry in the most populous U.S. state.
Last year, Italy's powerful Catholic Church successfully campaigned against a law proposed by the previous centre-left government that would have given more rights to gay and unmarried couples.
The Roman Catholic Church teaches that homosexuality is not sinful but homosexual acts are, and is opposed to gays being allowed to adopt children.
The California court found laws limiting marriage to heterosexual couples are at odds with rights guarenteed by the state's constitution.
U.S. President George W. Bush, who is opposed to gay marriage, prayed "for the family" with the pope at the white house last month during the pontif's visit there.
Last year, Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, the head of the Italian Bishops Conference, made headlines with comments that critics said equated homosexuality with incest and paedophilia.
After he made the comments -- which Bagnasco said were misunderstood -- graffitti reading "Shame" and "Watch Out Bagnasco" appeared on the door of the cathedral in northern Genoa, where Bagnasco is archbishop.
The pope, who backed Bagnasco, will visit Genoa this weekend.
Opponents of gay marriage in the United States vowed to contest the ruling with a state wide ballot for measure for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.
(editing by Catherine Evans)
copywrite Thomson Reuters 2008 All rights reserved.
Whatch out pope...try to take away what little rights we have and we may just kick your ass. if we can get our hands on you...watch out, Pope Benedict!
and Bush...don't get me started on that stupid sonofabitch. he is, if at all possible, worse then the pope. the pope is following his religeon and doing whats right for his church. that's what the church is all about, anyways--being narrow-minded. Bush, on the other hand, doesn't care about the people of his country, he just wanted power, and others who wanted power used that and put him in office so they could actually have the real power, but he would be the stupid hand puppet that would do as they said. i hate it. i hope that Barack Obama wins the presidential election... GO BARACK!!! yeah! but i suppose the hildebeast (hillary clinton) wouldn't be too bad..but if another republican wins, i may just move to Canida. well, i would if i could. i happen to be only fifteen, so that may not work out so well.
but i have to leave...i need to finish my project for Geography, otherwise i'll be failing another year, which will probably happen anyways.
Quote of the Day
"I don't think homosexuality is a choice. Society forces you to think it's a choice, but in fact, it's in one's nature. The choice is whether one expresses one's nature truthefully or spends the rest of one's life lying about it."
~Marlo Thomas
xoxo
Briii333
Well... a little bit about myself: My name is Brii, or Brianna, or Shitzon (a nickname given to me by my friends). Whichever you prefer, I guess. Some of my hobbies are painting, writing, playing piano/guitar/bass, singing, and bitching about political figures-everyone from the president to the pope. (Today I happen to be especially angry with the pope.) I have a few friends that I care an aweful lot about, whom i will refer to in this blog as B.J, Kat, Abisha, Tricia, Claudric, and whatever i come up with for whatever friends i happen to be discussing at the time. I live in northern Minnesota, U.S. with my Mom, and I visit my Dad on weekends. I am a "full blown dyke," as some people in my school refer to me as. I love most types of music, but there are some types of music i hate with a passion. These are rap, eighties pop (Madonna, etc.). Some music that i don't care for but don't exactly hate with a passion are country, hip-hop, and pop (Brittany Spears, Jordan Sparks, Paris Hilton, American Idol, etc.). Okay, i lied, i hate pop with a passion.
Today, since i am in the mood to bitch about something, i'm going to bitch about the pope. that sonofabitch is a whore...i kind of wish he would just randomly have a heart attack. unfortunately, i can't just make that happen. i'm not that smart. i may be smart, but not that smart. 'why would she want to do that?' is a question you may be asking yourself. well, here's a hint- gay marriage. that stupid motherfucking sonofawhore totally rained on my parade about California taking the ban off of gay marriage... i was so happy about the huge step for our country, until i read that stupid artical... here it is (please excuse all typos, i'm typing it while looking at a printed thingy):
Pope Restates Gay Marriage Ban After California Vote
Fri May 16, 2008, 5:51 pm BST
by Phillip Pullella
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict, speaking a day after California court ruled in favor of same-sex marriage, firmly restated on Friday the Roman Catholic Church's position that only unions between a man and a woman are moral.
Benedict made no mention of the California decision in his speech to family groups from throughout Europe, but stressed the Church's position several times.
"The union of love, based on matrimony between a man and a woman, which makes up the family, represents a good for all society that can not be substituted by, confused with, or compared to other types of unions." he said.
The pope also spoke of the inalienable rights of the traditional family, "founded on matrimony between a man and a woman, to be the natural cradel of human life."
On Thursday, the California Supreme Court overturned a ban on same-sex marriage in a major victory for gay rights advocates that will allow homosexual couples to marry in the most populous U.S. state.
Last year, Italy's powerful Catholic Church successfully campaigned against a law proposed by the previous centre-left government that would have given more rights to gay and unmarried couples.
The Roman Catholic Church teaches that homosexuality is not sinful but homosexual acts are, and is opposed to gays being allowed to adopt children.
The California court found laws limiting marriage to heterosexual couples are at odds with rights guarenteed by the state's constitution.
U.S. President George W. Bush, who is opposed to gay marriage, prayed "for the family" with the pope at the white house last month during the pontif's visit there.
Last year, Cardinal Angelo Bagnasco, the head of the Italian Bishops Conference, made headlines with comments that critics said equated homosexuality with incest and paedophilia.
After he made the comments -- which Bagnasco said were misunderstood -- graffitti reading "Shame" and "Watch Out Bagnasco" appeared on the door of the cathedral in northern Genoa, where Bagnasco is archbishop.
The pope, who backed Bagnasco, will visit Genoa this weekend.
Opponents of gay marriage in the United States vowed to contest the ruling with a state wide ballot for measure for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.
(editing by Catherine Evans)
copywrite Thomson Reuters 2008 All rights reserved.
Whatch out pope...try to take away what little rights we have and we may just kick your ass. if we can get our hands on you...watch out, Pope Benedict!
and Bush...don't get me started on that stupid sonofabitch. he is, if at all possible, worse then the pope. the pope is following his religeon and doing whats right for his church. that's what the church is all about, anyways--being narrow-minded. Bush, on the other hand, doesn't care about the people of his country, he just wanted power, and others who wanted power used that and put him in office so they could actually have the real power, but he would be the stupid hand puppet that would do as they said. i hate it. i hope that Barack Obama wins the presidential election... GO BARACK!!! yeah! but i suppose the hildebeast (hillary clinton) wouldn't be too bad..but if another republican wins, i may just move to Canida. well, i would if i could. i happen to be only fifteen, so that may not work out so well.
but i have to leave...i need to finish my project for Geography, otherwise i'll be failing another year, which will probably happen anyways.
Quote of the Day
"I don't think homosexuality is a choice. Society forces you to think it's a choice, but in fact, it's in one's nature. The choice is whether one expresses one's nature truthefully or spends the rest of one's life lying about it."
~Marlo Thomas
xoxo
Briii333
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